We communicate all the time. Every minute of our waking day we are communicating something to someone somehow.  How do we do that? Most people answer by saying “we talk and use words”, they are correct to a point. Communication, however, is so much more than just using words.  At our September “Let’s get Talking” event at Sandi’s bistro  participants uncovered what supports communication and why communication breaks down. Here now some comments from some of our participants.

“My husband and I joined a welcoming and informal group to discuss how we communicate with each other,

especially when times are tough.  Andrea took some time in helping us understand how communication takes place and how we give and receive messages to and from each other. ”

“Andrea illustrated how … our interpretations” of things “were not neutral, but rather a projection of our own ‘stuff’. This was to be a pivotal concept for the rest of the evening.”

“This talk helped me appreciate the importance of taking time to think about what I want to say before I say it.  For me this means also being responsible for what I say and how I say it.  Andrea helped me realise that speaking from the ‘I’ point-of-view helps to let others understand how I am feeling rather than feeling they are being blamed for my experience.”

“For my husband and I, hearing that other couples also sometimes have strife and that our own troubles in communicating are not unique to us, is enormously liberating.  When one of us is triggered, we have been practicing discussing how we feel rather than reacting emotionally.  We are very grateful for being shown this tool.  It takes time and practice and we try implement this as best we can.”

“What I really took away from the evening was an emphasis on conscious reflection on our communication patterns and interactions. Andrea spoke about ‘less emotional reaction and more conscious response’ to communication in general- this point really resonated with me as I so strongly believe we are responsible for how we communicate with others. “

“Overall, the evening was really enjoyable. I think having these conversations about such important aspects of life are hugely contributory to larger societal change and we should be demonstrating how they can be had in informal spaces like last night.”

These are the 5 basic points to consider when communicating, especially when tackling tough 

times/topics.

1. What is my intention? What am I trying to communicate?
   Check in with myself. How am I feeling right now?

1. Check in with the person(s) if they can communicate right now.
2. Is the environment conducive to successful communication?
3. Take time to Respond rather than React quickly

 

Feel free contact us if you are looking for further assistance when communicating during crisis like divorce, trauma, loss.

Andrea is passionate about tackling difficult topics like

• How do we tell our kids about the breakup of your marriage?
• How do I help my child in the grieving process?
• How do we communicate as parents in a blended family?
• etc.

Leigh is specialised in dealing with issues like

• How do I confront a difficult boss or colleague, successfully?
• How do I find my voice and be heard?
• How do I communicate boundaries?
• etc.

Deborah is excellent in building trust through communication.

• How to communicate with my spouse after infidelity?
• How do we build our family after abuse and addiction?
• How do we connect when relationships have broken down?
• etc.

Call or WhatsApp us on 0723756089 for an appointment with either Andrea, Leigh or Deborah.

For more information on our therapists please see the “Meet the Team” tab on our website www.familycounsellingcentre.co.za

Our next conversation will be on 30th October 2018 at Sandi’s Bistro. The topic will be “Boundaries”!  We hope to see you there.