The Crisis!

A worldwide phenomenon towards introspection.

We cannot stop this virus because science does not have the weapons to fight it. It is novel – we are in completely uncharted waters.

The uncertainty of the unknown, the absolute helplessness, combined with the health risks and the added risk to life create the conditions for the perfect storm. We feel it swelling up inside of each one of us and around us.  Building momentum and gathering speed especially via well-meaning social media. Thankfully it is not as deadly a virus as we have seen in the past, but it is more contagious than we are accustomed to. If science cannot help us and if this is bigger and faster than we are, what do we do? What can we hold on to? What have we left to manage ourselves and our loved ones? 

According to all the “scientific” advice we are left with our own immediate spaces, our very own thoughts and beliefs. Cliché after cliché pops into my mind.

As above so below

Every little bit count

The mountain is conquered one step at the time

How to eat an elephant…

I have no power over others

One Day at a time

… And so on.

All of these are true yet when faced with this truly global threat like COVID-19 it seems all too simplistic. There is a possible permanent change ahead. We have no way of knowing if our norms will stay the same. And all we have left is to sit with ourselves in self-isolation, forced quarantine or in simple contemplation about these times we live in.

The changes we can make seem minute yet every institution in the world is asking us to do these very simple and basic, seemingly unimportant things.

Wash our hands!

Be conscious of what we touch and who we have been in contact with.

Be kind to others and think for the greater good.

Governments, The World Health Organisation, science, medicine, the pharma industry EVERYONE who we have put our trust in for so long is telling us the same thing.  “Manage this crisis on a MICRO- LEVEL.”

“What I do today in my home in my environment WILL make a difference.” That is what they are saying. They are in fact telling us to go back to basics and focus on the space we occupy right now.

So, what about my environment my thoughts and my beliefs?  We have been running in circles cutting our time short because we are obsessing about social media posts, work, finances and what the people on the other side of the planet feel is good, pretty and appropriate. 

This global crisis is indeed an opportunity. An opportunity to self-isolate on a completely new level. A chance to do some introspection about life here and now.  I challenge everyone to take this opportunity and for us to look at our own values, beliefs and environment. We no longer can travel and run away from our own environment. We can no longer flood our senses with distractions because everything is closed.  We are forced to use our waking hours to be truly present in the now.  This crisis is an opportunity to engage in a global prayer session. Turning our thoughts towards ourselves and that which we believe in.  Ultimately this is all that we ever had, we just thought that there was more, but when it comes down to the essence of a life worth living this is what we have.

The only way that we now can be pulled away from ourselves is by sending, reading, posting creating social media posts that promote anxiety and hysteria. No doubt, many of these posts are well-meaning. I too am guilty of exactly this overloading of information.

Know that fear-based posts are like COVID-19 infected door handles. A festering point of ill health. Make sure you clean your devices regularly, be aware of what you read and hear. Encourage the spread of positive interactions. Protect your thoughts and your beliefs from the infestation of the very contagious negativity. Consider the greater good and stop the spread of fear.

Crisis, a chance to change!

I have no doubt that this too shall pass, and we will find new norms. We will look back and remember a time before COVID-19 like we remember the world before 911. There will be many changes, we will get used to them and learn to live life with those changes. Eventually, we will go on and happily do life.

I ask you – what would YOU like to take from this crisis. What change would you like to make in your environment, in your beliefs and in your thoughts that can honour this crisis – this profound, novel and global crisis of biblical proportions?  

What can You do differently to change this world?

What is Your belief?

Do your thoughts haunt you or do they encourage you?

Behaviour is an expression of our deepest thoughts and beliefs. Behaviour changes when we allow our brain to consider new ways to be. The brain can only consider new ways of being if we change our minds about what we truly deeply believe.

More clichés bubble up:

Be the change you want to see| Are you part of the solution or part of the problem| Lead from the front| practice what you preach| Be the change…and so on

Stay safe, Stay healthy Stay positive as you turn inwardly to change the world one step at a time.

ADD/ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Aggression etc.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?

Your child is unable to sit still, he does not follow instructions, she is so manipulative, punishment does not seem to work, her teacher thinks she might be depressed, very low concentration span, struggling with sequencing etc. Terms like ADHD/ADD, Autism Spectrum, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia seem to be brandied about quite easily and it seems like, if the child has a label or a diagnosis it might be easier to send him/her off to be treated or medicated.

What if I were to tell you that there are so many otherfactors that could be influencing their behaviour and that it is not necessarily always a diagnosis that might be helpful but rather adjusting the way your child moves. The brain and the body connect through movement. The way children move is the way they think and visa versa. Incorporating certain movements and exercises into their life might make a big difference to their social interactions, the way they think and the way they behave.

The Family Counselling Centre invites you to our monthly Conversation, “Let’s Get Talking” starting at 7 pm.   Join Lee-Ann on 27th March in a discussion around early development movement, signs of Developmental Co-ordination Delay and the significance of how your child moves.

‘We thought our son had ADHD – what we were told blew our minds’ by Amanda Cassidy

“We brought our son to be tested for ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) this summer. He was fidgety, found it hard to sit still in school, had low concentration and was very impulsive. In other words, all completely normal symptoms of a five-year-old boy. But I wanted to be sure so that I could give the best and most appropriate response to help him be his best self. Also, I am a complete overreacter. To my surprise, the therapist explained that not only did he not have ADHD, he had retained some of his primitive reflexes and this was a really common issue that is often misdiagnosed as ADHD. And these retained reflexes could be responsible for a lot of the things that were getting him in trouble at school and at home.  Wait, what? “

Care for the Caregivers

This time of the year my heart goes out to all people working in caring professions. Doctors, social workers, nurses, NSRI staff, teachers, fieldworkers, police, emergency services, etc. Their plight is hard throughout the year but for some reason during the festive season I become painfully aware that, as everyone is celebrating and taking a load off, many cargivers are working hard to keep everyone safe and healthy.  Continue reading “Care for the Caregivers”

Introducing Your Partenr to Your Kids

Andrea answers some questions about how to go about introducing a new love intrest to your children.

The basis of a healthy relationship with your children is to implement – The 4 -Ls of healthy parenting

  • LISTEN to your children,
  • LEARN about your children,
  • LAUGH with your children and
  • LOVE  your children in action

Age-approproiate honesty is of utmost importance when communication with your children especially when talking  to them about so-called touchy subjects.

Click on the logo or on the link below to listen to the podcast.

How to deal with post-divorce festive season

Sarah J King talks to Andrea Nettel

Andrea Nettel, the founder and director of The Family Counselling Centre specialises working with individuals, couples and families who have experienced trauma.

She joined Sarah J. King from Cape Talk to give some advice on how to approach the festive season after having gone through the trauma of divorce.

Please click on the  Photo or the link below to  listen to the conversation.

Some exciting news from our team:

We have a Winner in our midst!

Our Director, Andrea Nettel, is the winner of  one of only three Scholarships offered by Mediation Academy. Well Done Andrea and Congratulations.

Here now the official announcement from the Mediation Academy:
“We are happy to announce the 3 winners of the full scholarships for the 64h Family Mediation course. Congratulations:
Scholarship #1: Barbara Jaftha, Scholarship #2: Andrea Nettel, Scholarship #3: Nicky Shortt
Our three winners will complete their Family Law Mediation training online, after which they will be able to get international accreditation and start their own practices.
We would like to thank our co-sponsors, the Modjadji Network, who offers a business networking platform for women in business. Register here: .

We’ve had such a huge response from many talented individuals that we’ve decided to provide partial sponsorships to an additional 15 students. Mediation Academy is currently offering a 20% discount off the full course price.
Visit our website for more details:
Like our Facebook page for updates on future competitions:

Blessing the Women at Nerina Gardens, Fish Hoek   


Beautiful bracelets, by Carol Bradley!

The TFCC team decided to commit ourselves to doing something special and memorable for some of the precious women in our community for August, as  Women’s month. We decided to keep it close and local…… and chose to visit one of our long-established retirement villages namely Nerina Gardens, around the corner from our rooms in Fish Hoek. We focused on the frail care section and put together a beautiful gift for each of the ladies, a token of our love and appreciation for them. They each received a beaded necklace (made by our very talented and creative receptionist, Carol Bradley) and some small chocolates, which no woman can say ‘no’ to! The gift to us was seeing their faces light up and to hear them saying that they look forward to wearing this bracelet as it matches various items of clothing in their wardrobe. Thank you, ladies of Nerina Gardens, for a very special day.

Our Director steps in as Bay Primary’s School Counsellor

The sign on Andrea’s door at Bay Primary …

The Family Counselling Centre are excited to announce that our Director, Andrea Nettel, has been appointed as the School Counsellor at Bay Primary School, Fish Hoek, while Erica Searle is on sabatical to complete her Honours. Andrea’s mandate is to assist learners with short term counselling and to refer them to appropriate professionals if more assistance is required. She will work with the learners in regards to socialisation, anxiety, crisis management and interpersonal communication. Trauma debriefing, and working with the learning support team to find adequate solutions for the struggling learner, also forms part of my role.

Numvoyo, Andrea and Carol celebrating Andrea’s appointment in the TFCC offices

Andrea is looking forward to maintaining and growing the wonderful culture around counselling that Erica has already developed, while she is in this role. Andrea will be at the Bay Primary Senior Campus in Kalk Bay on Monday and Tuesday mornings and will be at the Junior Campus in Fish Hoek on Wednesday and Friday mornings.

Andrea will continue in her role as Director and Counsellor at The Family Counselling Centre in the afternoons and on Thursdays and Saturdays.

We wish her every success in this all important role!